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| The Robot Restaurant in Shinjuku is a prime example of Tokyo's crazy side |
Allow me to start today's blog by wishing everyone a Happy Halloween! I know it's a bit early but I've been doing non-stop Halloween themed games and activities at school for my students so I'm really in the spirit of the spooky season!
Since Halloween is a time to embrace all things wicked and weird, I thought I should dedicate a blog to exposing the skeletons hiding out in Tokyo's closet. As you probably already know or have heard, Tokyo is definitely an otherworldly place full to the brim of bizarre oddities. However, the strangeness of this metropolis goes beyond the typical talks of panty vending machines and deadly puffer fish sushi (yes, those are real). Every single day there is a guarantee that I will stumble across something that will make me say, "What in the world is going on in your head Tokyo?!". I realize as a foreigner who doesn't know many things about Japanese customs and cultures, many of these things may in fact seem normal to Japanese people, but I just can't seem to wrap my head around them. Be warned that this list may have some "uncomfortable" moments so I'm just going to go ahead and tack a PG-13 warning on it right here and now. Also, know that I'm not trying to insult Tokyo in any fashion. I just want to invite you into the weird, wacky, and wonderful world that I get to experience every day!
Kooky Commercials
Commercials in Japan are honestly the most entertaining tidbits of TV that I have ever seen. I could honestly be happy just watching a string of commercials instead of the actual program. On the trains right underneath the map, there is always one television screen playing a random commercial while the other screen shows the route. My commute to work always seems to go by in a flash because I am too busy laughing hysterically (doesn't help my crazy foreigner image...) at the bizarre commercials. My favourite commercial out of everything so far is this one here:
I die laughing every single time I see this weird commercial! I might just have to pick up this hand mist (I don't even fully understand what it does) just for the sheer hilarity of it.
Then there are the commercials that catch you completely off guard. These good ol' "double-take" commercials usually sell the most bizarre items you will ever see. These commercials are barely half a minute long but I find myself still wondering about them hours later. You'd like an example? Well BEHOLD. The Facial Fitness Pao:
Wasn't that the most confusing 30 seconds of your life?! Who are all of these foreigners? Why do they need fitter faces? Is this device going to help me take flight like Dumbo ears or am I just supposed to bounce around like an idiot?! So many questions... little to no answers.
Lastly, there are the strangest celebrity appearances in Japanese commercials. Some days I'm just minding my own business passing all of the blinding billboard sized TV screens in Shibuya when I catch a glance of a familiar face out of the corner of my eye. Usually I see a lot of Lady Gaga or Brad Pitt, but recently my favourite celebrity commercial is this lovely gem right here:
Oh Tommy Lee Jones, what are you doing in a Japanese coffee commercial? Also, why are you the most badass sensei that I have ever seen in my entire life?!
Pervy Moments
Unfortunately, when you have things that are "good-weird" you must also be stuck with things that are "bad-weird". Like any other country, Japan has it's pervy moments. By this, I do NOT mean to say that all people in Japan are perverts or anything of the sort because that would be incorrect, insensitive, and stereotypical. Most people are shy but friendly, and I feel quite safe everywhere I go in Tokyo, but there have been a few cringe worthy moments with some "unsavory" characters... Today I'll share two of my stories with you just so you can kind of get the idea about what kind of naughtiness some suspicious types get up to over here.
Story One: The Upsy-Daisy Oopsie-Daisy
Once upon a time, an innocent gaijin princess was riding the escalator down to the train platform in Shibuya. As she descended, she noticed this peculiar sign on the wall.
She thought to herself, "Goodness! How drôle! Upskirting?! How utterly retro! I bet no one even does that anymore!" She chuckled and chortled as she continued her descent into the belly of the station, This is when she noticed something peculiar happening on the escalator beside her. A man was crouched down on the stairs and the innocent gaijin princess wondered if he had dropped something or if he was hurt. The next moment is when all innocence was lost. She realized she was wearing a skater skirt and the man was crouching down in order to get a better look at what might be underneath. She had just been upskirted promptly after she had been scoffing at the thought of its existence. The End.Story Two: Rub-a-Dub-Dub
Once upon a time, at the stroke of midnight, a gaijin princess caught the last train home from a party in Shinjuku. She was feeling quite exhilarated by the fact that she would not have to pay an exorbitant taxi fare to get home, and because of that, she let her guard down. She let herself drift off into a place of sunshine and smiles until she felt a very strange sensation on her arm. She slowly turned her head to find a not-so-very-gentle gentleman rubbing his arm up and down her own arm. She instantly wanted to move away, but the train had become so crowded that she had no escape. She decided to endure it until something unbelievable happened. The man on her other side started to rub his leg on hers. The gaijin princess had been transformed into a pervy sandwich... The End. |
| This is a perfect time to talk about the beauty of the "Women Only" train <3 |
Crazy Train
*Please insert your own witty Ozzy Osborne joke here*. While we are on the subject of train shenanigans, I would like to take a moment to appreciate just how wonderful, yet weird, the trains are in Tokyo. They are honestly everyday lifesavers that transport you from home to work to shopping to friend's homes and then back home again. However, in a city like Tokyo where the streets are always lit and the clubs stay open well into the am, I have to wonder why in the world does the train stop promptly at 1 am? It just seems so strange to me. At many popular holidays, they extend the hours of operation, but in my opinion they should just have the train running round the clock.
Another bizarre fact about the metro is that instead of waiting for the next train to peel around the corner in 3 minutes, people will fight until their last breath to get on the train. I imagine that they have their lives scheduled down to the minute... If you don't believe me, please enjoy this video depicting the regular occurrence of "train pushing":
Actually, this video was taken at Naka Meguro which is very close to where I live and work! Gives you an interesting look into how I get to work every morning LOL!
One last bizarre tidbit about Tokyo's trains is concerning the good ol' white collar workers. These salarymen work harder than any other group of people. They put in long hours and they always look quite dashing in their business suits. However, sometimes I have witnessed a salaryman enjoy one too many beers after a hard day's work and the result is somewhat of a tragicomedy. Behold, the "I'm-so-drunk-but-I'm-on-the-train-and-almost-home" guys:
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| "The Electric Slide" Sleeper |
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| "The 3 Seat Sprawl" Sleeper |
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| And last but certainly not least! "The Clothes Line" Sleeper |
Fashion... Forward?
It should come as no shock when I say that I am in love with fashion. Every chance I get I love to adventure out to Harajuku or Omotesando to check out the latest trends or to catch a quick fashion show. However, there has been many times when I've seen an ensemble and wondered, "Is that stylish or is that just freaky?" I fully endorse dressing however makes you feel cool or beautiful or what have you, but sometimes I just can't wrap my head around how certain fashions thrive here.One of my favourite fashion fad in Tokyo so far is "Decora Fashion". If I had to describe this fashion style, I would say that it is like you cracked a giant unicorn egg over your head and let all of its rainbow-y goodness run down your entire body.
One fashion style that simultaneously intrigues, yet terrifies me is "Gyaru and Gyaruo Fashion". I kind of enjoy how this style isn't just for the ladies! Guys get into it just as much as the girls do. I'm also fascinated by the fact that an entire lifestyle comes with this fashion choice. While I'm sure not all "Gyaru and Gyaruo" enthusiasts have the exact same lifestyle, it is said that many of these ruffians with their dark skin, crazy hairstyles, and gritty clothing have quite the reputation for partying.
Watching makeup tutorials for this kind of fashion is my new obsession by the way. It's so mind boggling that I end up binge watching hundreds of girls get into their "Gyaru" characters. Also, I just can't figure out how they can do their makeup without stabbing themselves with their giant nails...
Lastly, the fashion I've learned the most about since coming to Tokyo is "Lolita Fashion". From walking down the streets of Harajuku on a bustling Saturday afternoon and from chatting up a few girls all decked out in their Lolita outfits, I've come to realize that there are many different types of Lolita styles. Gothic Lolita, Sweet Lolita, Old School Lolita, the list goes on and on! If I had to give this fashion a slogan it would probably be, "Victorian petticoats on LSD".
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